Working at Starbucks has been a great and adventurous experience. There are the days I burn my fingers for the nth time when rinsing out the expresso shot glasses. There are the days I stand behind the register and watch the same little old man come buy a prebottled Frappucino and sit at a table by himself sipping away at what his morning is dedicated to. Other days hold talking to my coworker about her pregnancy and the wonder of life inside of her--how it's changed her and molded her desires to that of benefiting the child. And still other days involve conversations with a coworker where I ask him about his father and he mentions that his dad passed 4 years ago. And what do you say to that? On this adventure that I call work and my life, often I find myself at a loss for words....
Ever had a moment like that--where you weren't quite sure what to say? Hmm. Happens to a husband when his wife asks about the dress that (although he finds her gorgeous) is not pleasing to the eye. Speechlessness happens when a mother gives birth to a child and can't find the first words to explain what a beautiful miracle has entered her life. But aside from these funny and breathtaking moments, there are those moments where as hard as you may try, you may never know the answer, the explanation, or the words to say.
Why is it that my coworker had to loose his dad at the age of 20? why did another friend lose her mom when she was in 5th grade? what do I say to my mother that just lost her grandmother? I don't know. This I admit very openly: I do not know all the answers. And as cheesey, or 'hymnal book' as it may sound.., though I don't know the answers, I know Who does--God. Does this mean that if you follow God you'll automatically know all the answers. Nope. But as you seek God, talk with Him, and read His word, I can guarantee that you will begin to know His will and to understand Him better. And though you'll likely always have questions of why things happen in your life, there is the promise that He cares for you and wants what's best for you, and there is the hope that you may see some of your loved ones again. There's the hope that you can help others find the longevity--the eternal peace--that comes with knowing Jesus Christ.
In the vein of loss and those we love around us, I'd like to tell the story of a dear friend of mine, Penny Lawson, who passed away a year ago last week. Penny Lawson's climactic story begins when she was in her 20s I believe, for this was before I knew her, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Everything's good, right? It was, until her baby April passed away due to SIDS. April was not here on this Earth for long, and as far as I know, Penny did not have a relationship with Christ at that time to pull her through this very tough situation. So Penny did what a lot of people try to do--she looked for something in this world to at least briefly alleviate her pain--she turned to drugs and alcohol. This lifestyle, though seeming to have some rewards at the time, led Penny to prison.
Into the picture steps a valient prayer warrior, her brother/my assistant pastor, Bro. Terry Rowe. Penny faced a 20 year sentence, and Terry would go and minister to her. Some people would have given up at this point--after all, an addict or someone in prison is too far gone or not worth the effort, right? wrong. The person at your work that God keeps telling you to talk to, your family member that rides the fence, or that guy that went to Bible college only to drop out and decide all Christians must be hypocrites-none of them are beyond hope. If Terry was willing to minister to his sister in prison, you most certainly can tackle your battles. And he didn't stop there...Penny accepted Christ, and also her sentence somehow got cut back quite a bit. Before long, she was in a halfway house, where she was able to check out for a short amount of time. Terry and his wife would come to church for Sunday School, and then drive to the halfway house to pick Penny up. Because of her limited time, she was only able to stay for a majority of the service, but often not the whole service. Some people might have written this off as a waste of time to drive and get her for only part of the service, but not the Rowes.
Penny eventually got out of the halfway house and was able to come to church on her own. She began to become very involved in our church--yes, that's right an ex-con found Jesus and was completely transformed. Her dream after she had gotten saved was to work with the kids program in church--and that she did. She was able to make a huge impact on the lives of our growing children's program. All was going extremely well, she was engaged to be married, when she started having back problems. By the time she got it checked out, it was 4th stage cancer in her liver and lungs. And, as was expected, she passed within about 3 weeks of the initial diagnosis.
In her last days, Penny lived with such a peace and boldness like I've never seen. She was content with going to meet her Maker, and she was also courageous in letting her family members (many of which had fallen far from their faith) know that they needed to find this great relationship with Christ.
Penny died. That's it, right? Why? To this day I don't 100% know the answer, but I do know that in the following weeks, her sister and brother-in-law started coming to our church and rededicated their lives. Praise God--2 lives saved! Not only that, many of Penny's family visited, and her mother and 4 other relatives attend regularly now. I've been told that Roger, who rededicated his life to Christ, saw what was in Penny's eyes and knew he wanted what she had--that wonderful peace and excitement that comes from knowing Christ. [Our faith should be that contagious that people want what we have.] We all will die at some point, and though I still mourn occasionally over the loss of Penny, her life and death were not without purpose. One life went to be with her Heavenly Father, and hopefully that helped at least 2 other lives to follow.
So when things go crazy in your life, or you feel like you're holding onto your last thread; when you can't explain what, when, or why, just hold onto the faith that sometimes you don't have to have all the right words to say or have all the answers. Psalm 46:10-11 reminds us to "Be still and know that [He is] God; [He] will be exalted among the nations, [He] will be exalted in the earth. The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge." So when you don't have the words to say and you're surrounded with questions and unknowns, know this: God is in control. In our weakest moments, He becomes His strongest because we let Him. He's given you free will, so you've got to let Him if any of your questions are ever to be answered or your problems to be solved. Hard as we try, we can't do it alone. I continue to believe and encourage that God brings good from all the bad--even if we may never see it.
Seek God's wisdom in your words and ways today, but when you're speechless, know that can glorify Him as well.
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